INCREDIBLE AMAZING TEST SCORES YOU WON'T BELIEVE

Most of my state/national test scores are in and I am skipping skipping skipping so I figure the best or only place to brag about my incredible scores are here.

Would you like to know that:

100% of my 8th graders passed the state DWA essay test!!!!
This is the first year it has been given in 8th grade instead of 9th.
Not only did my 8th grade students kick trash, they beat my 9th graders from last year!!!!
Furthermore, over 68% earned MASTERY!!!!
Most of my ESL got mastery and all my sped passed or got mastery!!!!

Do you have any idea what this means? Do you have any idea how difficult this is? How impossible this is???? I'm wondering whether this has ever been done before.

Add to that the fact that:

95.5% of my 9th graders earned proficiency on the CRT with over 50% earning MASTERY!!!!

SHEESH!
INCREDIBLE.

I'm waiting for my grand prize brand new car and all expanse paid trip to Greece. A free dinner or movie tickets at the very least. I'm absolutely positive our district will want to reward me for my tremendous effort and results. I mean, how can you ignore a teacher that gets 100% of her students to rise to the occasion? No school district would just let it slide...would they? Surely they would want to reward the marvelousness of this grand achievement.

I'm not holding my breadth.

Anyway- I needed a pure solid moment of bragging else I would have started shouting exclamations of glee from the roof top.