OUR STORY

Okay... I don't mean to beat a dead horse or make a bigger deal out of something that shouldn't have been a big deal in the first place, but I feel like I kind of need to explain Nicole's last post that she ended up erasing. I shouldn't have to explain something that she put on our own blog but I think I will anyway.

First of all, we first made this blog for 2 reasons. One, yes it's nice to be able to instantly share what we do with others. It's like a scrap book that people can see without coming over. But the 2nd and biggest reason we have it is because it doubles as our journals. Instead of taking the time to do both, we post on the blog and it kills 2 birds with one stone. How nice is it to have your lives saved electronicly? How nice will it be to be able to show our kids everything we did? Now, It is not a journal per say in a way that we would put way personal stuff on here but none the less, it is our family journal. So, why would we only put the good on here? In a normal journal, you usually write about the good and bad that is happening in your life. This is no different. So, why would we want to make things always seem peachy when they aren't. Yes, it's true, we could just put pictures of trips to lake powell and other things we do on here, then when people see it, they would say "Those Hadleys must never work. They must have a ton of money, and spend their entire summer at Lake Powell and other fun places." But, what would be the point of that? Life is never perfect so why would we make it seem like that? If we cared about how people saw us, then I guess we could do that but remember, this blog is as much for us as it is for others so we try to be honest with ourselves.


Now, when I read the post, I didn't even think one thing about it. Then, after reading it again, I could see how someone who didn't know us well could take it the wrong way. I honestly do. So, I will tell you why she said what she did and a little bit about us. Here is our story:

It all started in Kindergarten. We were in the same class but aparently I didn't like her too much back then. When we started dating, I found our little yearbook and sure enough, there I was, and there she was with her face scribbled over. I'd drawn a heart around very other girl. I don't know why I did that but we thought it was so hillarious when we saw it. After kindergarten, we took an 18 year break. After my mission, I came down to Dixie to go to school with Jerome, Bryce, and Mike Shaw. When we graduated, those guys went back home and I stayed because my parents had moved down here. During that time I met a bunch of St. George kids and we had so much fun! Then later, when I met Nicole, I found out that all the people I had gotten to know were her same age, like Nick Nield and Cody Pickett. Anyway, I met Nicole because we were in the same ward but it definetly wasn't love at first sight! Every time she had the chance to be up in the front of everyone and talk, she made it known that she was anti-marriage and that she was going to do her own thing, be her own person and pursue her career. Immediately there was that obstacle, plus I thought she was a little fire ball and wore funky clothes. Yet, something about her, drew me too her and I slowly took interest for some reason. I didn't even know what I initially liked about her but there was definitly somthing there. I finally decided to have Cody ask her about me. One day, Nicole and her mom were Buckle where Cody worked, and so Cody told her I was interrested and she said "too bad, I'm going to San Francisco." When I heard that, I was little shocked (that she was so blunt for one) so then I decided to let it go. But, I still thought about her. I think I had even mentioned something to my mom about her. Anyway, back to the San Francisco thing: After graduating from SUU with a Bachelor's in Advertising and PR, Nicole had a scholarship to attend a design school in San Francisco. She had gotten into the best school, had the best apartment, LDS roomates, and an Internship with Coke all lined up. (I don't know the whole story but here's what I do know). She was so excited! She was about to move away and soon fulfill her dreams. Once she graduated from that school, she had plans to move to New York City and get a job. She would get to live on her own, wear a black business suit, put her tennis shoes on and walk to work. She didn't have to make friends or even talk to anyone if she didn't want to. And most importantly (to her) she didn't need to get married if she didn't want to and if she did, it could be when she was 30 or so because she didn't live in Utah anymore.

But, as the time for her to start school got closer and closer, the worse and worse she felt about it. She was so frustrated because this is what she had always wanted for herself and it was about to actually happen and now she was feeling uneasy about it. The closer and closer it got and the closer and closer they got to San Francisco in the car with all of her stuff, the more nervous she became. They got to San Francisco and got her moved in and her parents told her they would wait down stairs in the car for a while in case she changed her mind. Nicole started to pray about what to do even though she knew what she wanted. Still, she overcame her pride and prayed with faith and heard an actual voice say "GO HOME"! She thought to herself that that couldn't be. So she prayed some more. Again, she heard "GO HOME"! Even though it must have been so hard for her to obey, she did. So, she loaded back up the car and headed for St. George. Think about what she must have been thinking on the way home. She had wanted that her whole life and she was so close. Why did she have to go home? And more importantly, what was she going to do when she got there and what was she going to tell people? That must have been very hard.
The very next night after coming home, there was a ward activity. I was the the head of the activities committee at the time so I HAD to be there. Anyway, all of the sudden, in walked Nicole. I went up to her and said, "hey, I thought you went to San Francisco." She quickly said, "I did, but came back" and then walked away. She was understandibly a little embarrased so I have to hand it to her for even going to the stupid thing. She told me later that she thought she better face people right away because they would find out sooner or later anyway. I think that was awesome of her and I think she handled it the right way. Anyway, we didn't really talk much that night until she came up to me and asked me if I wanted to go hiking with her and some other people the next day and I immediately said YES without even thinking about it. Then when I realized I had to work, I had to go tell her that I couldn't. She thought that was weird. Even though I couldn't go that day, I went to eat with her and some other people that night and that's when things kind of got started.

Our first date was Bingo in Mesquite. Kinda white trash I know but oh well. Things kinda went slow from there. She wouldn't let herself get too attached for some reason. First of all, she was just getting over a relationship with some guy that lived in the dorms, and she had some concerns about me just as anyone would. She thought that I was a perfect little boy, that hadn't done anything wrong and that she would ruin me. Mean while, I was thinking the same thing about her. I must have done a good job of faking or something. She thought that I was TOO nice. That is one that I didn't understand. I was just trying to be nice and get her to like me so I did the gentleman things and opened doors and things like that. She is a pretty strong willed and independent girl so she didn't like that too much. She felt that she could do those things on her own. I knew she could do them on her own and that she was capable but that wasn't the point. I was going by the letter of the law of it and doing it because it was the right thing to do. Not to belittle or demean her. When we ended our dates (sometimes in the wee hours of the morning - once got home as my dad was taking out the garbage can in the morning and he just looked at me and I looked at him and he said hi and I said hi. I could tell he was dissapointed so he didn't need to say more), she would go to leave and I would tell her to call me so I knew she made it home and she thought that was so stupid. Again, just doing it to be nice and because I cared about her.

We slowly dated and got to know each other better and had a fun time. There was just one more thing... I graduated from Dixie with my Associates and had just barely started into the Bachelor's of business administration program. I picked that because it was pretty broad. But, I still didn't know exactly what I wanted to do with my life and she had a hard time with that. She wondered how I was going to support her when I didn't even know what I wanted to do and she was really concerned. At the time, I was kind of offended by the fact that it was such a big deal but now I can totally see why. We feel like we are way behind a lot of my friends at this point in our lives and wonder how they did it. What if I had known what I wanted to do and was on my way towards it. How would our lives be different? Would we be further along? Would I have even been in St. George still and have the chance to meet Nicole?

One night, I went to her house to see her and her mom answered the door. She told me that Nicole was having a hard time that particular night about our money situation if we were to get married and how we were ever going to make it work. And again, she was worried about me not having a good job and not knowing what I wanted to do. I insisted on talking to her but she said Nicole was upstairs crying and having a talk with her dad. So, I left there a little bit mad! I wondered why she thought that she couldn't just trust me. I wondered why they didn't see more potential in me than that. Needless to say, I was a little discouraged and a little mad over it. So, I left there and went straight to see a girl that was in town that weekend. Now for a little background on this girl. I had known her most of my life growing up but she was 2 years older than I was but growing up as a kid, it was always my dream to marry her. I guess you could call this a cheezy comparison to Nicole's dream about going to San Francisco but on a way lower scale. Anyway, I think every one of my friends growing up had a crush on her at one time or another. While I was at college, she would come down to St. Geroge from time to time. We hung out a few times at the house where she would stay and she came to church with me. Then, when I would go home on the weekends and during Christmas break before my parents moved down here, I would see her. I couldn't beleive that she even had an interest in me! So, I never thought it would go anywhere because it was just a little too surreal. Was the person that I had a boyhood crush on my whole life actually interrested in me? I couldn't believe it. I always thought to myself, "is this actually happening?" When I met Nicole, that girl and I hadn't seen each other in a while but were still talking and keeping in touch. One weekend, she was in town and wanted to come to my softball game. The thing was, though, so did Nicole. I thought to myself. "that's gonna be trouble." So, I called that girl and told her that I wasn't going to my game anymore because I had to study (yeah, I lied). Then, the next time she was in town, was the time when Nicole was having a nervous breakdown about finances. So, when I left Cole's house that night, that's the girl Iwent to see. Even though I was a little upset, wondering if Nicole still wanted to keep dating, I left that girl's house by telling her that I had just started dating someone and thought that it was going places. When I left there I thought to myself, "did I really just do that? Did I just tell the girl that I had a crush on my whole life that I was dating someone else? What did I just do?" Yet, I felt calm and that I had made the right decision (if she reads this, she will probalby laugh her head off because I thought there was more there than there really was). After that, I went back to Nicole's and we had a good talk. We kept getting closer and closer from that point on.

Well, the rest was history. I proposed, she said yes, we went through engagement, and got married. I proposed to her in our old Kindergarten class room over cookies and milk (cheesy but romantic at the same time - cause hey, maybe we had a nap together on the rug when we were little?).

I was really worried about who I was going to marry. I had always heard that "you just know" when someone is "the one" but I always thought that was so stupid. How could you "just know?" But, in our case, we both "just knew" even though we didn't know why. It was almost like God said "you, and you....... get married!" I am so glad that it happened that way! It has been the best experience from then on! Nicole and I are just so different that it made it hard. But it just goes to show you that God knows what is best for us and that we need to do his will whether it be coming home from an awesome opportunity and an internship with coke or telling the girl of your dreams that you like someone else (oh I'm sorry, was that innapropriate??).


Truth is, Nicole and I are different. But, we compliment each other so well. She is everything I'm not and vice versa. She is so smart, artistic, creative, driven, intelligent, positive, strong, and good natured. And I like to think that I keep her grounded, that I'm laid back, and enjoy life and live it to it's fullest every day. She is a planner, and I live for the moment. She is analytical and realistic, and I fly by the seat of my pants. I could go on and on, but the good thing about it is that those traits rub off on the other. We take bits and pieces of the other and add it to what we already are and it produces a pretty dynamic marriage. I love her so much and don't know what I would do without her. You know what? I wish I did have more of a plan for my life so that we could be further ahead. I wish I had realized that I owed at least that much to my future wife. To have a plan as the one who would be the provider but, at least this way, we could both make the plans together and work together at them. Yes, I do wish we were further ahead in life like many of our friends but it has been one hell of a time figuring all this out together and I am so greatful for her patience and support!

Not only did she support me as I continued my vague path towards the Bachelor's of business, she worked so hard herself! She has been amazing ever since we got married and she has never stopped working hard! She is so smart to have a plan and think about the future and then do her part. She realized that it would be good for her to have a job in a field where she could start, work until we had kids, quit until they were old enough to go school and then start again. Something that she could do while they were at school, something where she could have the weekends, holidays, and summers off. So, she decieded to go back to school and get her teaching degree in English. There was just one little catch though.. She had to drive to SUU to do it.Think about this for a minute.... She taught special ed at Dixie Middle in the morning, drove to Cedar for school, came home and tought dance, did homework all night, then did it all over again the next day. Because she didn't want it to take her forever she took 25 credits and still maintained a 4.0! How amazing is that, to be able to get those kind of grades, having to commute to Cedar and work 3 jobs! But that's not all. These weren't your avarage every day classes. These were upper level lit classes where you have to read multiple 1,000 page novels every week and then write papers about them. How did she do it? She is so smart and amazing to be able to handle that kind of a work load and I am so proud of her and greatful for her.

I was so inspired by her and realized that I needed to decide on a career asap! Then one day, the mortuary came to mind. I was like "what the heck, a mortician?" and thought about how weird and random that was. But, it still just stayed in my mind. I would even go over to the cemetery as I ate lunch in my truck in between classes and watch the funeral directors run a grave side service just to see what they do. I finally mentioned it to Nicole one day and, although she was releived that I had come up with something (part of the problem was that I wanted to do like 20 things ie. forrest ranger, BLM guy, dwr, fireman, fish and game warden), she wasn't too fond of the whole mortician idea. She did NOT want me to do it because her dad was never home and she did not want it to be that way with me. Even though I strongly agreed and still have problems with that part of it today, it just felt right the more we thought about it and seemed more and more like a good opportunity. So, one day, Nicole and I went in and talked to her dad about the possibility of a job and maybe a career. After a while, he told me they would put me on back up. So, I was on call every single night for 8 months straight. Even though that sucked, again... it just felt like the right thing to do and we felt like we were being led by the Lord, even if it was something we weren't 100% sure of.

Before we knew it, we were looking into mortuary schools. I wanted to go to Mesa and that is where we were headed until Nicole found a school in New York. You all know the story from there. She loved the idea and I hated it. But, we packed up, and headed to New York without a job or an apartment. Nicole did a good job doing all the research and got us an aprtment to sublet

for the first month from an LDS couple while they were on vacation. We got to New York with all we owned in 6 huge suit cases and it was hotter than hell! We took a taxi ($80) from the airport and got to our temporary apartment. 3 words..... Hot, Mice, and Minorityville. Without going into too much detail, the first few months totally sucked!! It was really hard and I made it worse by being a total jerk. All Nicole wanted to do was still sort of fulfill her dream of living in a big city. Now she could do it and be married at the same time. I should have seen that and been better to help her accomplish that goal. I had to go away to school anyway, so it might as well have been there. Anyway, finding a job was a nightmare! Nicole wanted to do something using her degree and get the full New York experience. But, as you all know, none of those opportunities panned out and something felt right about becoming a nanny. Not something she dreamed of writing home about but it ended up being the best thing for her and us. I felt bad for her and she had a hard time letting go of a few jobs in Midtown. She really wanted to do something with her degree. I would drop her off at her temp jobs and just had the worst feeling as I left her there. I am so glad none of those jobs held up! So, she became a nanny to a 6 mo. old boy named Jack whose parents were totally awesome and more than fair. Not only did Nicole get paid more than those other jobs... she got to get out and see the city and be off on Saturdays. It ended up being the perfect job. The

(above: note cards from entire school year) apartment hunt was probably more frustrating. I don't even want to get into it. But just know that unless you want to live in a shoe box, you're going to pay $2,000/month and that New York realtors aren't exactly what you'd call honest. After 30 days, and having spent our ENTIRE savings, we found an awesome apartment (way above our budget) downtown and thanked the Lord and those that helped us get it every day from then on.

After New York, we came back and I started my internship and Nicole went back to school Again, she had 20 to 25 credits of heavy lit and education classes and still taught dance while maintaining a 4.0 She had to jump through all kinds of loop holes in order to graduate in time to start teaching at the beginning of the school year. For example, they wouldn't let her use one of her majors from her first degree as her minor for her teaching degree. And the biggest one of all, she had to complete all of her foreign language credits. Somehow she talked the school into letting her get all of them in if she would go to Spain for a month. So, that's exactly what she did. A whole month in Spain barely knowing any Spanish? Pretty gutsy to go over there with a bunch of 18 yr olds.

Meanwhile, while she was gone, I was having a hard time at work. 2 tenured funeral directors had quit since I started and I immediately got thrown into the fire with very little training. I had to figure out so many things on my own which ment that I learned from my mistakes. It just seemed like I was trying hard to do my best but people were still finding things to go to the boss about. I must have been called into the Boss's office every day for something that a co-worker had complained about. At the same time, I was helping a family who had lost a teenage girl in an accident. It was the first one that really seemed to get to me and Nicole was gone so there was no one to talk to when I got home at night. It was particuarly hard one weekend after I had been called into the office about something stupid on a Friday. That weekend I really wondered if the job was for me. But that didn't last long. I just decided to work even harder. Monday morning, I went to my boss and told him that as long as the families that I work with are being served well, that's all I was gonna worry about. And until one of them complained about me, I wasn't going to worry too much about stupid inner office shinanigans. I told him that the more co-workers complained about me, the less I would be willing to help them and that I was just going to do my own thing. He told me he didn't really agree but if I wanted to do it that way he would respect it. So, from then on, I tried extra hard, going the extra mile, being early to work and doing extra jobs. My boss took notice and our relationship has gotten better as the time has passed. It took some getting used to, that's for sure, but now I enjoy my job and we are grateful to have it.

Nicole finally graduated from college after much sacrifice and got a job at Snow Canyon Middle as an English teacher. Lets just say that her first year was tough! She had to stay after each day to prepare the following day's lesson plan. She never came home before dark. As you know, she is in her second year now and things are much better. The reason she was frustrated about it was because she ended up going to school as much as some doctors do but instead, teaches ungrateful little bastards and gets paid in gum balls. You can understand her frustration can't you? I mean, that was a lot of work, loop jumping, and sacrifice for that type of job. But, then again, she and I know that it is the perfect job for what we want out of life. It is one of the few jobs that is in demand. She can start, quit, then have kids and get re-hired when they are old enough if we need her to. We knew it was not a huge money maker going into it and that it would be a massive sacrifice for what you get out of it in return. But as I said, not only does it help us get where we want to go, she is very good at what she does and she is making a lasting impression on all of the kids in her class. She is making a difference in our lives and hopefully all of theirs' as well.

As you can see, there have been times when our marriage has pretty much been on hold. From what I've written, you can see that while Nicole was going to school with all those credits and trying to get her first year of teaching, there wasn't a lot of time left for our marriage. She has been so busy and dedicated to our cause that sometimes our marriage suffered. But you know what? I am okay with it because I know that everyting, and I mean EVERYTHING, she has and now does is for US (If it seems like she doesn't want to do anything social or you feel like she is ignoring any of you, just realize that she has all her sights set on the future and working every minute to see that life is better tomorrow than it was today for our family. All of that stuff will come. We have alot of life ahead of us. She does want a nice place where we can entertain and have people over). This is one of the reasons why we don't have kids yet. Whether right or not, we realize that NOW is the time to work hard and get our stuff in order so that our kids can have a good life. This is and has been Nicole's motivation and although it has been hard, she and I know that it will be worth it. She has never given up when things have been tough. She is so dedicated and strong and I will always appreciate her loyalty to me and our future. She just wants to make things nice for ourselves and especially me. I know it doesn't seem like it to some, but she does. She is very devoted and caring. It may have appeared over the last few years that she doesn't do enough for me but what you have to realize is that she does in other ways. The ways I have explained above. So...... so what if she doesn't wait on me hand and foot by making me dinner every night or doing the laundry every time!! I'm a big boy, I can get myself something to eat if I'm hungry. I can wash some clothes if I need them!! But, you know what? It won't be that way forever. She WANTS to do all those things when we have kids. But right now, she is working hard and helping us in other ways and I realize that. Hopefully we have a house in a couple of years or so. Then we'll have kids, she can stop teaching and she will do things like have dinner ready when I get home from work. I know she will. But right now, she is making sure that all those things will happen. Right now she is teaching so we can save money for a house and kids.

Now and over the last 5 years, she has worked extremely hard and for that, I will be forever grateful. Maybe our marriage has been less than perfect so far but who's isn't?? I mean, how much can you actually learn about a person during an engagement? How could she have known that I would have an extensive shot glass collection? That I was going to buy the t-shirt or Jersey of Every current Yankee player? How was I going to know that she needs 10 blankets on the bed even in the summer or that she would never answer the phone or check her messages? We are learning more and more about each other and the more we learn, the more we love each other! Now, I will joke and laugh about some of Nicole's manerisms with others and even get frustrated with her in front of others. But, she IS still my wife and I will ALWAYS defend her if it goes too far! She is SO dedicated to me and our marriage and it Erks me to think that she could be seen by anyone as anything less than that. If anyone should be talked bad about here, it should be me, not her. I'm the one who doesn't show as much love towards her as I should. She's Perfect!!

Nicole meant exactly what she said when she said that we got married and then fell in love! Not that those of you who were madly in love during engagement did it wrong. That's perfectly fine. We are just doing it a little different. We were so different that it took someone like God who knows all, to tell us to get married and make it work. So, we are learning to love each other more and more as time goes by. Shouldn't every marriage be that way??



We may be behind many of our friends and where we want to be but I think everything will work out in the long run and we will catch up. (not that it is a contest but..) Even if it doesn't..... we will ALWAYS have that year in New York!! That was an amazing experience that I wouldn't give up for ANYTHING! We became so close and had SO many good experiences that will shape our character, lives, and marriage FOREVER! We may not be where we would like to have been at this point in our lives but we are enjoying life and being married to each other. Nicole is so amazing! I love her so much and only hope that I can become what she wants and deserves in a husband and father. Right now I have a hell of a long way to go but she is very patient and understanding. I am so grateful for her undivided and unconditional love. For her hard work, devotion, dedication, and strong will. Our kids will be lucky to have her as their mother and I am looking forward to many years of marriage with her including the good times and bad. Thank all of you for your friendship and love. We are going to try and be a better friend, brother, sister, child, uncle, aunt, grand child, and cousin to all of you!!!


We love you all!


Quinn and Nicole