Public Apology

Holy Cow! I just saw the video of Nicole dancing and would like to take this opportunity to issue a statement. I apologize to all of you who have seen that. I am so sorry! - Ya gotta love her though don't ya?! - secretly, I laughed. What a Dork!

The last day of school

On Surviving Middle School
It was difficult enough the first time round. What a ride. It's like being on a roller coaster that suddenly stopped mid free fall. You're still a little noxious, but there is an undeniable rush. It really was a tough year for me. Today I was on bouncer duty at the door, confiscating backpacks and spray paint (just guess), and the students kept telling me it was no fair that I got a donut and they didn't. I calmly but firmly explained to them how atrocious they are to teach and that I earned it a hundred times over. A few of them had the nerve to tell me that they had worked harder this year and therefor deserved my maple bar more than I did. That didn't last very long, because if looks could kill, they'd be in serious peril. After the dirty glare I gave them, they scampered away like lost little puppies looking for their mother in a deep, dark alley filled with bandits. I don't know why some of them came today anyway. We told them to ditch. It's like they want to punish us with one more day of whining. Fine, they're not all rotten, but still, let summer already!!!!!

To celebrate my new found freedom and sudden let up from all things intense, I took Q to the premiere of Indy last night. It was pretty good. We wore our shirts, which were a hit despite Q complaining about matching and mentioning something about Sadie Hawkins embarrassment, and splurged on the Jumbo popcorn/pop deal. My stomach is still reeling since that was dinner for me, but it was worth it. Q even won another free Indy T-shirt (although not nearly as cool as the ones mom ordered), and we were on the St. George news. Afterwards we went to the cup cake cafe (25main) and got two choco-choco cupcakes with the last of our money. I feel like whenever I go there, the workers stare at me like "hello, what are you doing here?" Maybe I am not trendy enough. It's like they're watching my every move as I look at the restaurant. Still, the cupcakes are super and I'm glad to hear they are doing so well. What a hard business to run. Check out this 2 second clip of us in our super duper Indy T's. It may be the last time I convince Quinn that matching is fun. This time nearly took tears. Matt took the image and made Q stand there for like 5 minutes with everyone watching. Q was so mad. Isn't he a hottie?!?! I will way miss him this week.


Notice: If anyone is interested in free chalkboards, I can get you some. They are huge (10 feet) and magnetic. They have a chalk/eraser tray too. I took a couple home from the school and am thinking someday I'll cut them down and make magnet boards out of them. Also, when we do finally build a house (a decade from, SGU is SOOOO expensive), I'm going to put one up in my garage. Let me know.

Oh blissful day of light and glory. It's almost worth teaching for 9 months just to experience this joyful moment of exaltation and celestial fulfillment. May 23rd is what teaching is all about!!!

Don't Stop Till You've Had Enough

Technically tomorrow is the last day of school, but we handed out yearbooks and had the carnival today so I told all my students to ditch tomorrow. I also told them that if they came to school tomorrow, I would make them scrape gum off desks until their hands were numb. A few "bless-their-soul types" said they would love nothing better than to help me tomorrow so I had to sit them down and explain to them how it is that teachers love summer more than students. They were shocked.

And just how do I feel now that I am done seeing students for 10 weeks?
Play the clip:

May 22nd, 2008

On falling off the face of the earth... for a year.

I feel lucky... about the kids being monsters. My students are MILD in comparison to those in other classes. Actually, let me rephrase. They are my students, they just choose to urinate in their friends cups and watch them take a sip in Science class, not English. Thank the Lord they weren't doing that for me. A few other students were arrested today. No major graffiti... yet, but you never know. Knock on wood: two days left. There's been worse, but my mom said I can't write about what my 5th period boys did on a public blog. I think next year, if we go to uniforms, they should be either Army fatigues or gladiator suits. Here are some pics from yesterday. My two best buddy teachers and amazing work friends ever are quitting this year because they are having babies. My sorrow cannot be consoled. I can't imagine them not being here next year, it is so so sad!!!


Lessons Learned:
#1: Say goodbye to all friends, free time, and acquaintances on August 4th
#2: 9th grade boys are pure evil
#3: Never assign essays the last 2 weeks of the quarter if you are going to get them graded
#4: Parent Teacher conferences explain a lot
#5: Utah English teachers are expected to perform miracles for less than minimum wage
#6: No one seems to mention the well known fact that teachers can't get their jobs done in the 30 hour work week they are paid for
#7: Students lie, teachers lie more
#8: Teaching Middle School is like getting beat up everyday and still coming back for more because someone told you you were supposed to care
#9: Sometimes the 1 student who says thank you doesn't make up for the 100 who mouthed off to you.
#10: May is the month of glorified babysitting

...there is more, but I'm getting depressed.

WE HAVE IN 'N OUT which I've never liked... until now. It is so cheap and the tomatoes taste like... well, they taste period. I've been twice. Monday I made Q take me after I worked a 13 hour day. It was fun.


LIFE IS GOOD.

What a week!

This week has been insane... quite painful actually. You've NEVER experienced shear chaotic loudness until you've taught middle school the last week of school. They are monsters. Yesterday 5th period decided to heave each other across the room. Two kids thought spit wads through stolen Arby's straws would add a much needed decor to my room, and yet another ruled in favor of smashing red mud into my carpet. Needless to say, I strongly dislike them. There will be NO bittersweet feelings of letting them go away forever. The class of 2011 has successfully succeeded in taking several years off my life span. I've never seen anything like it. It's almost as if they've taken heroin or at least a full three liters of harsh energy drink before they come to class. Wretched little souls they are. No wonder I'm cynical, sarcastic, and hard. No wonder I'm not fluffy and friendly. No wonder I don't smile often. Spend a day in my classroom and you'll ask no more why I'm brash and unfeeling. Seriously, this profession is the best type of birth control on the market.

Having survived grading 200 essays, 150 term projects, and a slew of grading that puts climbing Everest to shame, I am pleased to inform you that I will not be staying in my classroom until midnight tonight. The dance recitals are finally finished and the craziness of May is soon to turn into summer bliss and celestial glory. Hello NYC! Bring on D.C. Where have you been Lake Powell? I have some lofty goals: We'll try to rent the condo, I want to finish my book, and there may even be some sewing in the mix. Let us not count out projects with the blessed Cricut we bought mom for Mother's Day. In addition to a few wedding videos in the mix, this summer will include naps (what are those again?), lunch (oh the joy of this new, soon-to-be-found meal), and movies (here I come Indy and Narnia!). Bring it on!!!!


Here are some prime Mother's Day opps.

Quinn shed mercy on me and cooked a glorious Sunday dinner for us. I was in the middle of grading 200 essays and exhibiting full proof signs of a large mental-health stress break down.



This is me exuding joyous strains of relief at having survived the 9th grade!

Are you kidding me?

Parental Disgression advised:
Today I had a large group of boys exuberantly practice their self-gratification skills in the middle of my class. They were tallying score of who could go fastest. I won't go into more detail. My mom might read this. Suffice it to say, just when my optimistic streak was beginning to shine through, I have been convinced the world is going to pot again. What the?????

Also, I'm quite depressed. I know I wrote about it on JNAC, but I'm seriously saddened about having to miss Carrie Bradshaw and her friends this summer. The rating came out. Now, though I've never seen an unedited rated-R movie in the past, it doesn't mean I'm not sulking over missing this one. New York practically stars in the thing. Totally bummed. It'll be years before the edited version comes to prime time. Guess I'm stuck with TBS re-runs. I can't believe I have to miss this. Then again, what did I expect it was going to be rated, right?

Speaking of New York... The countdown is rounding the corner: 11 days left tell the Big Apple and I meet up again. Oh how we've missed each other so. It's been a whole 6 months! I feel like I'm having an affair with Manhattan most days. I've told Quinn. He's O.K. with it, so long as I keep the spending at Century 21 to a reasonable limit and approve all artwork by him. He didn't exactly define "reasonable," so I'm assuming this is negotiable. As for the artwork: You really could never have too many paintings and photos of NYC could you? Our magnificent Eric Dowdell is propped up against the bed in the spare room, the plaza is resting behind a dresser, and if you look under any couch, chair, coffee table, or bed in our condo you'll find something from the city framed and fabulous. Really, could anything be more wonderful than New York City?

Personal ad: We are going to rent out our condo. Friends and family- you interested? Know anyone who would be? Let us know. If you respond with enthusiasm, we'll wave the deposit!

Wish List

Okay- first, you HAVE to check out this most AMAZING utube clip EVER in the unniverse!!! It'll blow your mind! Seriously- this is possible?!?! I've placed it in the side bar for permanent viewing access: Swan Lake (suffer through the frogs- the good stuff's @ the end)

If there is a rich millionaire out there who is looking for some way to get rid of a few bucks, here are some ideas. I would really appreciate someone sending these items my way:

The new desktop (MAC of course), complete w/photoshop, extra gigs, and final cut pro. You don't need to splurge on Word- I already have a few extra downloads from my laptop version.



A super delux Nikon (just the generic lens for now... I'm still an ameteur)



This completely awesome photo action package for photoshop (seriously, go to this site {see sidebar of fave websites}- this stuff is amazing).



A brand new house in Tonaquint Terrace (pretty please). I'd like a walk-out basement and will settle for just the lot... preferrably with a view. I LOVE this location in SGU! Dream, dream, dream!



The new and improved 12" capable CRICUT (ladies... need I say more?)


~I promise, I've been really good and have worked really hard all year!

VER BLOG

Here is Quinn (side ways). He is fun. He is perhaps the most fun person I know. Kids flock to this guy like static to garments. Anyway, I feel that after his last week's showing of cleaning our entire house, I owe him. We're talking blinds, grout with a toothbrush, toilets, ceiling fans, moving all furniture and everything under it to vacuum, the fridge (including gross left-over potato salad from Easter), laundry, dishes, and more. Maybe I owe him in excess of a few dinners...right? Well, I started with oregano lemon-garlic chicken and red wine vinegar-marinated tomatoes and cucumbers. Then I finished the meal off with home made Oreo cookies. Yes, I know what you're thinking: "Could it be? Is she finally domesticated?" I think I'm safe to reply in the negative. Here I am at school after 7 pm on a Friday night and I can assure you that this last stretch to the end will keep me well away from mi casa until June. Alas, just when I shape up, all hell breaks lose at my job again. I've got 7 dance recitals, 200 term papers and massive quarter projects to grade, and an end of the year video to compile. Plus I have to completely download everything off my MAC and figure out to get it working on a PC (I strongly dislike PC). Then there's the mild manner of a complete teaching portfolio to put together for review and, mysteriously, I've been sanctioned in charge of the end-of -year faculty party. Droning, I know. It's just that I want to document what I'm about to survive in case, for some reason I don't make, posterity will understand why.