DON'T TOUCH WET HALL PASSES!!!!! Lesson Learned!

So this kid, who asked to be called "Doug" though why I am acquiescing I know not- surely he doesn't deserve anonymity after today's incident, leaves class with one of his hall passes. The procedure is that they return the pass to me when they come back so I can throw it away (unused hall passes are worth extra credit). So when he returns "Doug" hands me the hall pass and I take it before I realize it's wet.

"Why is this wet, Doug?" I ask, the thing is dripping as I hold it up in front of a hyper and much derailed class of middle school students.

"Uh... well, it was all wet in the bathroom," is all Doug responds.

I chuck the thing and manage to pull the rest of the class back into a debate about whether or not students' licenses should be revoked if they fail classes. Only after we've hit a few more persuasive topics does the truth come out. AND THE WRETCHED TRUTH IS THIS:

"Doug" dropped the pass in the TOILET!!! BEFORE he flushed!!!!!!!!!!

I just have one question: WHO ON EARTH FISHES OUT A HALL PASS?!

"You said to bring it back," was all Doug could answer when I asked why on God's green earth he didn't just flush.

Needless to say, I left the class alone for a good solid 7 minutes of scrub time in the faculty room.

Wo the perils of Middle School Language Arts.